The “private reason” given on Kimkins’ admin board, as sent to the AG, was a copy of a post on ALC that was made more than 4 weeks after I was banned.

I was banned on September 27th, and the post copied from ALC is dated October 22nd.

The Kimkins letter to the AG further states that “She still retains full usage of the Kimkins weight loss program including the diet, diet variations, food list, grocery shopping lists, recipe library, BMI calculator, calorie calculator and other diet aids. “. This is a lie. When trying to log in at Kimkins, I get a message that says:

And Tippy, you have always claimed that you had nothing to do with my banning. How come the “private reason” on Kimkins is a post about you that I copied to ALC from LCF? And what about the reference “per Jeannie”?

Read it and see if it isn’t a description of Kimmer. I think so.

The Cult of the Narcissist
By Sam Vaknin
Author of “Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited”

The narcissist is the guru at the center of a cult. Like other gurus, she demands complete obedience from her flock: her spouse, her offspring, other family members, friends, and colleagues. She feels entitled to adulation and special treatment by her followers. She punishes the wayward and the straying lambs. She enforces discipline, adherence to her teachings, and common goals. The less accomplished she is in reality – the more stringent her mastery and the more pervasive the brainwashing.

The – often involuntary – members of the narcissist’s mini-cult inhabit a twilight zone of her own construction. She imposes on them a shared psychosis, replete with persecutory delusions, “enemies”, mythical narratives, and apocalyptic scenarios if she is flouted.

The narcissist’s control is based on ambiguity, unpredictability, fuzziness, and ambient abuse. Her ever-shifting whims exclusively define right versus wrong, desirable and unwanted, what is to be pursued and what to be avoided. She alone determines the rights and obligations of her disciples and alters them at will.

The narcissist is a micro-manager. She exerts control over the minutest details and behaviors. She punishes severely and abuses withholders of information and those who fail to conform to her wishes and goals.

The narcissist does not respect the boundaries and privacy of her reluctant adherents. She ignores their wishes and treats them as objects or instruments of gratification. She seeks to control both situations and people compulsively.

She strongly disapproves of others’ personal autonomy and independence. Even innocuous activities, such as meeting a friend or visiting one’s family require her permission. Gradually, she isolates her nearest and dearest until they are fully dependent on her emotionally, sexually, financially, and socially.

She acts in a patronizing and condescending manner and criticizes often. She alternates between emphasizing the minutest faults (devalues) and exaggerating the talents, traits, and skills (idealizes) of the members of her cult. She is wildly unrealistic in her expectations – which legitimizes her subsequent abusive conduct.

The narcissist claims to be infallible, superior, talented, skillful, omnipotent, and omniscient. She often lies and confabulates to support these unfounded claims. Within her cult, she expects awe, admiration, adulation, and constant attention commensurate with her outlandish stories and assertions. She reinterprets reality to fit her fantasies.

Her thinking is dogmatic, rigid, and doctrinaire. She does not countenance free thought, pluralism, or free speech and doesn’t brook criticism and disagreement. She demands – and often gets – complete trust and the relegation to her capable hands of all decision-making.

She forces the participants in her cult to be hostile to critics, the authorities, institutions, her personal enemies, or the media – if they try to uncover her actions and reveal the truth. She closely monitors and censors information from the outside, exposing her captive audience only to selective data and analysis.

The narcissist’s cult is “missionary” and “imperialistic”. She is always on the lookout for new recruits – her spouse’s friends, her daughter’s girlfriends, her neighbors, new colleagues at work. She immediately attempts to “convert” them to her “creed” – to convince them how wonderful and admirable she is. In other words, she tries to render them Sources of Narcissistic Supply.

Often, her behavior on these “recruiting missions” is different to her conduct within the “cult”. In the first phases of wooing new admirers and proselytizing to potential “conscripts” – the narcissist is attentive, compassionate, empathic, flexible, self-effacing, and helpful. At home, among the “veterans” she is tyrannical, demanding, willful, opinionated, aggressive, and exploitative.

As the leader of her congregation, the narcissist feels entitled to special amenities and benefits not accorded the “rank and file”. She expects to be waited on hand and foot, to make free use of everyone’s money and dispose of their assets liberally, and to be cynically exempt from the rules that she herself established (if such violation is pleasurable or gainful).

In extreme cases, the narcissist feels above the law – any kind of law. This grandiose and haughty conviction leads to criminal acts, incestuous or polygamous relationships, and recurrent friction with the authorities.

Hence the narcissist’s panicky and sometimes violent reactions to “dropouts” from her cult. There’s a lot going on that the narcissist wants kept under wraps. Moreover, the narcissist stabilizes her fluctuating sense of self-worth by deriving Narcissistic Supply from her victims. Abandonment threatens the narcissist’s precariously balanced personality.

Add to that the narcissist’s paranoid and schizoid tendencies, her lack of introspective self-awareness, and her stunted sense of humor (lack of self-deprecation) and the risks to the grudging members of her cult are clear.

The narcissist sees enemies and conspiracies everywhere. She often casts herself as the heroic victim (martyr) of dark and stupendous forces. In every deviation from her tenets she espies malevolent and ominous subversion. She, therefore, is bent on dis-empowering her devotees. By any and all means.

The narcissist is dangerous.

Emphasis mine, and the changes from he/his to she/hers.

How can we recognize a cult?

A fair use of the cult label for a questionable organization would require the presence of most of the items on the following checklist.

Does the group:

• engage in deceptive recruitment practices?
• tend to target vulnerable individuals?
• offer unconditional affirmation and support initially, but soon make its continuance contingent on obedience?
• have a closed social system that makes a special effort to isolate acolytes from family, friends, etc.?
• use constant bombardment with pro-group and pro-leader messages and exclusion of other messages?
• have a rigid, authoritarian hierarchy?
• have a leader and ruling clique that are perceived to possess infallible insight, supernatural powers, etc.?
• have an eclectic, often muddled and internally contradictory, set of teachings - usually a magic-laden philosophy that claims to have infallible answers to those “big ticket” questions of existence?
• have a strict behavior code that governs all aspects of how one should think, feel, and act?
• instill fear of outsiders (the “bunker mentality”)? Does the group try to convince members they are powerless to act without the group’s support and that the world “out there” is uncaring and hostile?

A post yesterday by the Kimkins poster girl Singing Lass reinforces the image of a cult. The post was made in response to emails that concerned people had sent to a Kimkins dieter with a heart condition.

“I am so proud of you—you are such a beautiful and strong person, and are inspiring so many people because of it. I know right now is a difficult time to step outside the ’safety walls” of the inner site and proclaim yourself with the plan, and it just reflects all the more on your courage and spirit—and the desire to help others who feel hopeless or overwhelmed with their need for weight loss by sharing your personal story and journey.

As for the “others”. What they do is the complete opposite—playground bully tactics of harassment and threats. It is obsessive and juvenile, and perhaps they should look to their own selves and lives for things to “fix” before trying to condem and force themselves and their opinions on others. We are adults, we should have the right to make our own choices, especially in regard to OUR own bodies … they have no right to tell others what to do. Some of them lost weight on this plan, then after the fact joined the hate party, many never did the diet at all ….. and many more are stuck with weight issues, unable to stick to diets of their own, or reporting having gone to surgical means and having resulting infections and problems ….. while here you are, beautiful, losing, getting on your feet with your heart health etc … You have every right to hold your head up and be proud for who you are and what you have accomplished.

I had my share of the bully tactics and harassment. I guess, I realized to give in, to step down like they wanted me to …. would have been condoning their tactics and would have made them the”winners”. People who harass, threaten, say mean things/ make fun of people should not be given any satisfaction or justifcation for the tactics they employ. I think the real test is being strong, sticking to what you feel is right for you and what makes you feel good, and not letting obsessed people change that, or take it away from you. The real people who care about you are here … the ones that have be-friended you without any motives, who show genuine concern and caring …. not people who pile up on you all of a sudden with threats etc …

My advice still is the same regarding blocking their emails, just turn them off. Do not respond to them—–do not feed the animals. I know its a bit like a bad tv show that you hate, but cant bring yourself to change the channel just to see how much worse they will take it. It is all hot air, spite, jealousy etc … though. You cannot reason with them. The only response I would even suggest giving any of them is an email saying you do not wish to have any interaction/communication from them, and any further attempts on their part will be reported to the police for harassment. Guess what.. .. it is very much against the law for them to continue to do so. When you cut off the fuel, ignore them .. .they get bored waving their fingers at a wall, do not get any satisfaction, and get a knot in their holy crusader underwear and move on …. unfortunately looking for new targets and meat to sink teeth into. but still.. …. the best way to fight it is to ignore, stick to guns, not let them make choices for you, and thusly it results in not allowing them to win or feel like they have any power over you.

You know, these same people who do this ….. I wonder how they would react if they were to get a report from school, or the parents of other kids telling them that their children are harassing other kids, making threats, bullying, emailing etc … It is total school ground tactics that are typically discouraged and even punished when discovered in children. yet here they are. Great examples. I hope they feel proud of themselves.”

Meet the Cult Leaders: The Kimmer, Singing Lass and sockpuppet Gary:

Emphasis mine, typos Singing Lass’.